In the Smithsonian Lon Safko, Meeting Guru Dr. Rick Brinkman and Gig Economies Brian Ludwick

The School for Startups Radio Interviews Meeting Guru Dr. Rick Brinkman

Listen to the Interview here

Broadcasted to: 

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INVESTOR'S BUSINESS DAILY INTERVIEWS DR. RICK ON MEETINGS

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HOW TO WORK FEWER HOURS AND GET MORE DONE: CONTOL MEETINGS

Rick Brinkman, author of "Dealing with Meetings You Can't Stand: Meet Less and Do More," quotes author and columnist Dave Barry:

"If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.' "

A 2015 Harris Poll survey found that the No. 1 obstacle to getting work done is having to attend meetings. A study by the Wharton Center for Applied Research showed senior and middle managers felt 44% of their meetings were unproductive.

Brinkman: "As a manager, if you free your employees from meetings they don't need to attend and make the ones they do shorter, focused and more productive, conservatively it would be the equivalent of increasing your workforce by 25% without spending a penny."

Ask why. There is only one legitimate reason for a meeting, Brickman says, and that's so people can interact on a particular subject.

"If you're holding a meeting just to present information, you're wasting your time," he adds. Better to put that in a memo.

Create meeting schedules. Each meeting agenda item should include a title, time frame, process, and two essential items, purpose and focus, Brinkman says.

"Purpose is a two-sentence statement explaining why this item is so important," he continues. "Focus is what you want from the group regarding this item."

Brinkman adds: "The meeting must start on time whether or not everyone is there and end on time whether or not the agenda has been accomplished."

>>> READ FULL ARTICLE HERE

Patricia Raskin Interviews Dr. Rick Brinkman on the Secret to Having Great Meetings

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Patricia interviews Dr. Rick Brinkman, best selling author and professional keynote speaker on Conscious Communication® expertise. He discusses his new book, Dealing With Meetings You Can't Stand, where he provides key insights into the human behaviors that lead to unsuccessful meetings, along with psychologically-based tactics for addressing them. Filled with helpful checklists and change-making strategies, Brinkman's book will turn the most boring conference room into a fast-moving model of efficiency, energy, and enthusiasm.

Here is a the audio recording of the 30 minute interview:

 

BizTalk Radio Interview on Dealing with Meetings

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 Dr. Rick Brinkman is interviewed by Frankie Boyer on BizTalk radio, a national show heard throughout the country on 35-40 stations on the Biztalk Network.

You can listen to Frankie’s popular Lifestyle Show everyday LIVE at 11 AM or repeated at 9PM on www.Biztalkradio.com, www.frankieboyer.com

Here is a link to the 10 minute interview where you will learn:

The 4 categories of problems at a meeting

The 4 things you can do to prevent ALL meeting problems

How to get the person in charge to try an experiment that will transform your meetings forever. 

Link to listen to the 10 minute interview

 

Master Meetings with These 5 Tips

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My article as published in B2C with 3 million unique visitors a month.

Business leaders always look for ways to boost engagement and productivity, but few of us would start with meetings. A 2015 Harris Poll found that going to meetings is the biggest obstacle to getting work done. Many of us see meeting as a necessary evil. For most C-suite executives, meetings devour 40% of our worktime: focusing on them even more is not exactly appealing.

But creating better meetings is a highly effective way to make your people happier, energized and more productive — without increasing their hours or salary. Here’s one simple but effective approach with an immense payoff: Don’t think of it as a meeting. Instead, think of being on an airplane flight, with the meeting participants as the passengers.

Confined in a small space together for a designated period of time, passengers are subject to possibly rough weather, unpleasant neighbors, a fatigued pilot, or worse. But we all have to fly. It’s a useful analogy since that’s what it feels like, most of the time, to be in a meeting. Imagine your people’s surprise when you can make the “flight” a whole lot more bearable in 5 practical steps:

  1. Question its necessity. Start planning the meeting by asking if it’s even necessary. As a leader, you sometimes challenge teams to justify the purpose behind an action. First identify the meeting’s purpose, then ask if it’s best served by a meeting, or there’s another way.
  1. Measure the cost. Meetings all have a cost. There’s the cost of what people are paid to sit in the meeting and there’s the price of all the work they’re not doing because they’re in a meeting. Knowing the cost, is the meeting worth it?
  1. Create an agenda.The meeting agenda is a flight plan, defining where you’re going and how long it should take. To keep the meeting on course, break the agenda into items that have 5 key points: titletimeframe, process, purpose and focus. Process could be “discussion, then Q&A.” “Purpose” should be two sentences arguing the item’s importance. “Focus” is the outcome you want from the group. Distribute the agenda in advance.
  1. Watch the clock. Even if people arrive late or you don’t hit every agenda item, end the meeting on time. It sends a powerful message: you respect everyone’s time. Designating a timekeeper can generate useful data on how accurate the agenda was, and help refine it for next time. Being released from a meeting as promised makes people far more willing to attend another one.
  2. Define the process.Without a clear meeting process, people resort to stress behaviors —talking out of turn, making snarky comments, or not contributing until the meeting is already over. Defuse them ahead of time with these three tools:

Control the air traffic. Use a whiteboard, projector, or computer and screen to keep everyone focused. Write the subject at hand in a “topic” box, the process for discussing it in the “process box,” and don’t let people deviate.

Establish a speaking order.Either make it voluntary with a show of hands, or make it circular, going around the room. When everyone knows they’ll get their turn to speak they become better listeners. Setting a time limit will prevent tangents and rambling.

Use a flight recorder. Visually recording everything people say cuts back on their need to repeat themselves to drive their point home. The visual collection of everyone’s ideas also enables the group to achieve holographic thinking — with a greater, more detailed understanding of the subject and higher-quality ideas and solutions.

Frustration kills enagement quickly — but feeling gratified and energized by a well-planned, well-led meeting builds it just as fast. Follow these five steps and you’ll see the difference for yourself. Instead of dreading meetings, your people will look forward to them, and colleagues may likely ask how you did it. We all prefer a smooth flight, after all.


Read more at https://www.business2community.com/leadership/master-meetings-5-tips-01965924#e52eFSuLaM1YT1Rs.99

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Dealing with Relatives: How to Prepare Yourself for Family Gatherings

Dealing with Relatives: How to Prepare Yourself for Family Gatherings

THE RULES OF NON-ENGAGEMENT WITH RELATIVES: How to Prepare for Family Gatherings

Adapted by Dr. Rick Brinkman from the book: Dealing with Relatives, Brinkman & Kirschner.

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Relatives have a unique relationship with you that is different for three reasons.

1. You did not choose them.  Yes, you choose your spouse, so he or she is not a relative. But what most people don't realize is the spouse comes along with bonus people! Feeling out of choice can easily lead to feeling like a victim.

2. Relatives are also hard to deal with because they tend to cross boundaries that no one else in your life would cross including a good friend.

3.  And relatives who are immediate family can be tough because they themselves are triggers to the past. Just as you can hear a song that suddenly takes you back in time, so it is that a family member can trigger old ways of relating or conflicts.

Therefore the first thing to remember when it comes to attending family events is you always have a choice:

1. Go and Suffer

2. Don’t Go (and possibly feel guilty)

3. Go with a different attitude

4. Go with a different attitude and behavior

I would suggest #4, a shift in attitude and behavior. Keep in mind your ability to make that shift will serve you in many more places than just this one event. Think of it like going to the gym and you are going to work out your communication and attitude muscles. 

To support you I suggest The Rules of Non-Engagement:  

1. Decide In Advance
Make a conscious choice about the kind of experience you’re going to have when you get there, before you arrive.

Liam says:

“I make a conscious choice to have a pleasant experience, no matter what. By reminding myself what I want from this experience, I have more control over my state of mind and the tone of any conversations we may have.”                

But it isn’t enough to make the choice not to have problems with a predictably argumentative relative.  You also want to make a conscious choice about what topics to steer clear of, and what you will do if those topics come up.

Carissa told us:

 “My mother-in-law has strong opinions about everything. If I responded to the troubling things she said, just for the sake of discussion, I was guaranteed an argument, and more likely an attack, which almost always led to a fight with my husband in the car on the way back home after visiting her! But I now realize that I have a say over what ultimately gets discussed, because I can avoid the problematic topics when they come up.  Now, on the way to her place, before I talk with her, I do a little talking with myself.  I tell myself exactly what I am willing to talk about and what I’m not willing to talk about no matter what, and I stick to it.”                                 

2. Plan for Sore Subjects

 Joseane:

"My husband’s former mother-in-law is a sore subject with my in-laws. Her name was Maggie.  Mention her name to either of them, and they spin off in anger.  To make matters worse my mother-in-law somehow, she finds a way to bring up Maggie’s name to me in every other conversation. We could be talking about food, travel, pets, children, whatever, and then for no obvious reason, she brings up the subject and starts reacting to it. Next thing I know, she’s telling the same story for the gazillionth  time about how inconsiderate she was, how mean she was, how absolutely awful she was.”

"I used to try and convince her that she should live and let live, but my efforts never worked.  Now when she starts talking angrily about Maggie, I just nod my head, wait till she’s done, and then change the subject to anything else!  I am purposely vague.  I just say ‘uh-huh.’  And if she asks me, ‘What do you think?, I know she isn’t really wanting my opinion, so I say ‘Well you know what's best for you.’  And the funny thing is when I do that she tells my husband, ‘I’m crazy about that girl.  She is so wise.’”

Joseane’s plan is simple.  She acts like she’s listening, and when she’s asked to take a position, she defers to the questioner for the answer.

This is also the way to deal with criticism from relatives. You can speak to their intent instead of getting caught up in the content of what they’re saying. If your relative says: “You should dress up more,” you can say, “Thank you for caring about my appearance.”

If your parent asks you, their adult child, whether you are brushing your teeth, you can reply, “Thanks for caring about my hygiene.”

By refusing to get caught up in the content of what they’ve said, you have time to breath, gather your wits, and create a cushion of non-engagement around yourself.

3.  Keep Your Perspective & Use Reminders

Garth told us: 

“Whenever we find ourselves obligated to attend some kind of family function, I’ve developed the habit of reminding myself that ‘all things will pass’.  I get a small red stick-on dot that I put on my watch to mark the time we’re leaving. It’s a perfect stealth reminder that helps me keep my perspective.”        

You should also partner with other family members who understand the difficulty of dealing with that special someone.  Develop a signal system, exit strategy, or other method of mutual support that can get you through the worst behavior without engaging with it.

By developing your options in advance, you support yourself and transform the stress of a family event into shared success.

I wish you good luck.

;-)

Dr. Rick

US Daily Review of "Dealing with Meetings You Can't Stand"

Here is the full review as published in the USDailyreview.com

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If you want to make everyone on your team at work feel like you’ve gotten absolutely nowhere, just hold a meeting. Meetings have a knack for bringing out the worst in us, from disengagement to irritation to that post-mortem eyeroll at the watercooler. Yet we can’t stop having them — and shouldn’t we have them? Dr. Rick Brinkman’s new book, Dealing with Meetings You Can’t Stand: Meet Less and Do More proves there’s a far better and more productive way to hold meetings, and it lays out a proven approach in a highly entertaining style.

Brinkman is an expert at “conscious communicating” with a roster of previous books, including Dealing with People You Can’t Stand. His new book is filled with similarly clever illustrations and charts, witty phrases, first-person tales, and it’s both a great read and an effective method. First of all, the next time you plan a meeting, don’t even think of it as a meeting. Instead, think of a meeting as a plane flight — and that you’re responsible for everyone having a safe, pleasant, on-time journey. All those people sitting around the table or in those little thumbnail images on your remote meeting app are your passengers. And you can take this analogy as far as you want it to, since Brinkman enthusiastically covers all the angles: metaphorical hijacking, too much baggage, unpleasant passengers, confusing directions, headwinds, and the consequences of landing too late for people to make their next“flights.”

Back up a moment, because rather than spoil the fun — and it is a fun read, and very refreshingly so —  let’s just talk about the why we have to have meetings in the first place. The reality is, we don’t, according to Brinkman. Most of us don’t ask if we should even be having a meeting, since we’ve come to believe that meetings are a part of the day like rain is a part of weather. But Brinkman insists we do ask why. we’re calling that meeting. If it’s to present information, he asserts, don’t do it. Meetings are not the time to present the new 25 page instruction manual or corporate identity report. They’re the time to talk about it. And there are just way too many pointless meetings being held, he says.

There’s a key difference between information and interaction, in other words. If you’re holding the meeting to get everyone discussing and strategizing about that document, terrific. First, send the materials out well ahead of time, and make it clear you expect it to be reviewed and understood before people walk in the door. This may well ring a bell with some readers, and it should: Brinkman is a master at illuminating just why common sense should prevail and doesn’t when it comes to gathering us all together. He also explains the immense importance of a well-thought-out agenda, which should include every single item to be covered, realistic time allotments for each one, the purpose of discussing them, and also what is expected of the people talking about them.

The bottom line is control: of time, of discussion, and mostly, of people. If you want to control the meeting, you have to frame it clearly, set expectations, and have tools in place to help rein in the variables, such as that “what exactly are we talking about here” confusion that makes everyone shift a little farther back in their seats. Brinkman provides savvy and subtle ways to control those disruptive personalities that tend to hijack the goings-on. We’ve all been there to listen to the ramblings of a Know It All or a Think They Know It All — as the author labels them. We’ve all heaved a sigh when someone starts seizing control of the discussion because they don’t have faith in the ability of the facilitator — a bullying personality type Brinkman calls a Tank. Those naysaying headshakers who frown endlessly at every single idea? They’re judges, notes Brinkman.

As guidebooks go, this is a good one to set prominently in your office and refer to frequently. It’s meant to provide you with better techniques that you can improve on with time. The more you craft a workable agenda, the better you’ll get at it, for instance. And the more people see you able to defuse the disruptions, the less disruptive they become. Master the tools in this book and use them to run your next meeting, and you’ll feel a remarkable transformation take place: people may actually ask you when the next meeting is. But if you’re not the one in charge, don’t despair. Brinkman provides a script for making tactful yet convincing suggestions for trying a better method. In this book, he’s thought of everything.

Learn more about Dr. Rick Brinkman at drrickbrinkman.com

US Daily Review Loves "Dealing with Meetings"

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Quotes from the article: "it lays out a proven approach in a highly entertaining style."

"His new book is filled with clever illustrations and charts, witty phrases, first-person tales, and it’s both a great read and an effective method. First of all, the next time you plan a meeting, don’t even think of it as a meeting. Instead, think of a meeting as a plane flight — and that you’re responsible for everyone having a safe, pleasant, on-time journey."

"But if you’re not the one in charge, don’t despair. Brinkman provides a script for making tactful yet convincing suggestions for trying a better method. In this book, he’s thought of everything."

"As guidebooks go, this is a good one to set prominently in your office and refer to frequently. It’s meant to provide you with better techniques that you can improve on with time."

" and it is a fun read, and very refreshingly so —  "

 

Dealing with People You Can't Stand #2 iBooks Bestseller

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Publisher's weekly has just released the stats for November 26, 2017 and my book, "Dealing with People You Can't Stand, How to Bring Out the Best in People at Their Worst" (Brinkman & Kirschner) is #2 on the business book bestseller list. 

iBooks US Bestseller List - 11/26/17 - Business & Personal Finance
1. Tribe of Mentors by Timothy Ferriss - 9781328994974 - (Houghton Mifflin Harcourt)
2. Dealing with People You Can’t Stand, Revised and Expanded Third Edition: How to Bring Out the Best in People at Their Worst by Dr. Rick Brinkman & Dr. Rick Kirschner - 9780071785730 - (McGraw-Hill Education)
3. Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert T. Kiyosaki - 9781612680187 - (Plata Publishing, LLC.)

see more here

It also has been translated into 25 languages. The bad news is I guess many people in the world can't stand each other. The good news, it's great for business! ;-)

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8 Essential Ground Rules to Keep Conference Calls on Track

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Here is an article I wrote for Businessingmag.com

Business meetings are often derailed by poor preparation, bad behavior or dismal time management. Add in the unique pitfalls associated with today’s virtual meetings, and the hazards are compounded. Meeting via conference call is even more likely to run aground with the possibilities of inattention, talking over one another and an inability to read body language.

Keeping conference call meeting participants focused and on track takes a special set of ground rules. Incorporate these essential components to ensure more productive conference call meetings.

Read more at here  ...

How to Prevent Difficult People at Meetings, Dr. Rick on FNN the Feline News Network

In this 3 minute 30 second interview Dr. Rick Brinkman, explains how the Meeting Jet process in his book prevents difficult behaviors like, whining, negativity, know-it-alls, passive people and more from even occurring in the first place. 

Interviewed by his two cats Neelix and Leela.

Dealing with Meetings You Can't Stand, Meet Less and Do More published by McGraw-Hill 2017

Blog Critics Review of Dealing with Meetings You Can't Stand

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Book Review: 'Dealing with Meetings You Can't Stand: Meet Less and Do More,' By Dr. Rick Brinkman

By Patricia Gale, BLOGCRITICS.ORG Published 10:00 pm, Sunday, September 10, 2017

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We've all suffered through the tedious, hour-wasting, headache-inducing trap of being stuck in a meeting we can't stand. Claustrophobia of the worst kind sets in, and instead of being productive, we feel practically comatose. Every wonder why? The reasons are laid out in this engaging and smart new book by Dr. Rick Brinkman, Dealing with Meetings You Can't Stand: Meet Less and Do More (McGraw Hill, 2017).

Brinkman is a master at helping people tackle the worst sides of working - before Meetings, he authored Dealing with People You Can't Stand, which is a global bestseller, translated into 25 languages. That's no surprise, given the title: Brinkman is a no-nonsense communicator who approaches the most common ailments of the workplace with equal parts empathy and humor - in Meetings he quotes noted cartoonist Dave Barry in the beginning. As with People, this book on meetings is fascinating, entertaining, and yet makes perfect sense, offering tangible strategies for effectively changing the game.

Brinkman has divided up the four main trouble spots that can turn a well-intentioned roundtable into a train wreck: preparation, people, process, and time. Of preparation, for instance, when a meeting is called without a clear agenda or purpose - or starts with "any other business?" - or has either not enough people or too many people present, it's a recipe for disaster.

Of people, the problems are as varied as difficult personalities: people who talk over each other, people who refuse to talk in the meeting but have plenty to say afterwards, people who are unprepared, who waffle, who snicker under their breaths, who know everything. Process and time are equally illuminated: readers will no doubt have a number of laughs as well as ah-hah moments.

What the good Dr. Brinkman does that sets this book apart from the dozens of "how-to" business books out there is provide a tangible fix. His very apt, clever, workable analogy works from start to finish to helps us reframe every aspect of a meeting - and land safely and on time. Think of a meeting like a long-distance jet flight, he suggests, including having a clear flight plan, a designated Air Traffic Controller, and a place to park tangential discussions - on the tarmac, of course. The goal: an efficient, quick, enthusiastic plane ride with little turbulence that arrives exactly as planned. I'll be it works.

Another plus to this very savvy handbook are the "Great Moments in Meetings" tales - light-hearted but revealing true-life accounts of meetings that actually worked. The upshot is that successful meetings are anything but free-for-alls: a group of engineers diligently place their cell phones in a basket as they arrive; an executive locks the door when the meeting starts so latecomers can't come in.

On the other hand, when people drone on in a global conference call, it's noticed. When someone acts disruptive, that's noticed too. The point is that we all know when a meeting isn't working. Now we also know why - and how to fix it.

Brinkman brings so much to the table with this book that it feels like an incredibly consolidated encyclopedia of how to plan a meeting, have a meeting, and follow up after a meeting. It's also a book on why you really don't need to necessarily have a meeting in the first place.

It's clearly, breezily, insightfully written, tightly organized, and charmingly illustrated. And it's sure to be an asset to anyone who has to deal with meetings. Read it and follow it, and it's likely your people will thank you - and then ask you to borrow the book. I recommend telling them to buy it themselves.

For more on Dr. Rick Brinkman and Dealing with Meetings You Can't Stand, visit rickbrinkman.com.

View the original article on blogcritics.org

Young Upstarts Love Dr. Rick's 5 Secrets to Great Meetings

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YoungUpstarts, a site of entrepreneurs and small business with over 200,000 monthly visitors.

Dr. Rick has five tactics for making sure a meeting is a productive, efficient, energy-building session. These are proven strategies that have helped keep meetings on track for my clients, including NASA, Boeing, and many Fortune 500 companies.

Here’s how to transform a meeting from a waste of time to a triumph in 5 simple steps:

1. Identify the purpose of the meeting.

The one legitimate reason for a meeting is so people can interact on a particular subject. If you’re holding the meeting just to present information, reconsider. According to the Cambridge Psychological Society, people remember only 9 percent of what was said — and recall half of it inaccurately —24 hours after a meeting. Also consider if the meeting is necessary or will cost too much: What is its time/benefit ratio? There’s the direct cost of what people are paid, and the costs of tasks not tackled because people are in a meeting.

Read more ...

BOOK REVIEW: A savvy guidebook about the problems with meetings — and how to fix them

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How many of us have had the unpleasant experience of being forced to sit through a meeting that feels like a complete waste of time? Or been in the position of having to run that meeting, and helplessly lost control of a discussion or agenda? Or wondered if you walked into the room conference room when a “participation mandatory” invitation brought you to a wooden, one-way presentation? These situations happen all too frequently: meetings are perhaps the worst part of working in certain places. But this terrific book, Dealing with Meetings You Can’t Stand: Meet Less and Do More (McGraw Hill, 2017), can help. I’d love to see it on everyone’s bookcase, to be honest.

Dealing with Meetings is by Dr. Rick Brinkman, an expert on workplace communication and difficult personalities. Like his previous book — Dealing with People You Can’t Stand — it’s humorous and practical, light in tone and filled with tips. People is an international top seller and has been translated in 25 languages. By the looks of it, Meetings has the goods to follow in its footsteps — including a hilariously apt quote by Dave Barry at the beginning: “If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.'” By setting the reader up with a chuckle and not a groan, the author makes us feel instantly more optimistic about improving dysfunctional conference calls, near-silent roundtable discussions, metronomic powerpoints and the like. It’s not an accident: Brinkman is an expert at the psychology behind how we behave why we do.

 

All problems with meetings fall into four categories, he asserts...  READ MORE RECOMMENDED